A REMINDER TO MYSELF
Living on a boat for the past two years has taught me a lot, but living ‘off grid’ on a boat for six months in 2021 solidified those learnings. A few months later, these are my top nine learnings from my experiences in the past two years. You, as the reader, might relate to some things I have written. However, will you remember it in a week? The short answer is, probably not. In context with this, I have learnt, you have to do the mahi to get the treats. Essentially, you have to go through tough moments to get the learnings out of them. No matter how many books you read, audio books you listen to, listen about other people’s learnings (which is all great), at the end of the day, it is your own life experiences where you have the most learning and growth.
1. You have the choice in life. No matter how ‘amazing’ someone's life may seem, the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Life isn’t meant to be easy, there are always going to be challenging moments, but at the end of the day these challenging moments do pass. Resilience to push through these hard times, patience with yourself as to where you are at that moment. If you are not happy with something in your life, you may not be able to change it tomorrow but why not make a plan to change it when possible?
2. Trusting the process. Relying on faith and trusting the process is challenging for a planner like myself. Not knowing what the road ahead looks like can be unsettling. There were times in Fiji where loneliness and struggling to find positives set in, times where the grass really did look greener in New Zealand. However, everytime, the next day something positive happened. Someone in Fiji reached out to hang out, a boat I knew came into the anchorage, there was a social event. It is hard to see what the ‘greater plan’ is for yourself in the future. However, trusting the process and the greater plan from the above, did give me some peace knowing that there was something bigger coming my way.
3.Change is inevitable. Change is scary but it is also where you grow. Deciding to leave Dunedin and live on a boat was something I had never thought I would do when I ‘looked at my future’ as a little year nine student starting high school. While change was exciting and in some ways I thrive on it - I love new opportunities, new people, new experiences. However, there was also times of proper doubt, times of not knowing where and what I was doing, times I couldn’t guess the next step. But through change, good always happened in the most unexpecting ways. I have learned to find change exciting within the uncertainty.
4. Live in the moment. Easier said than done! I find it very easy to look ahead into the future and start planning it, so this is something I am still working on to this day. When you enjoy change and planning, future-tripping comes quite naturally and it can be quite easy to start looking to plan the next thing, than being in the current thing. Sometime, I have to remind myself that some things don’t need planning, so I tell myself to not overthink it and just go and do it…
5. Gratitude. I have always been a grateful person and looked at the positive side of life, but when you go through challenging moments, days or even weeks, you have to work a bit harder at practicing gratitude. Bad moments are just moments, they don’t last forever. Starting my gratitude journal made me reflect on the day. Granted some days aren’t as amazing or exciting as others, sometimes it did take some thinking about things I was grateful for. However, I always found multiple things to be grateful for. I have made this a habit and I am currently on day #259.
6. Not taking things for granted. Seeing friends, flushing toilets, space, going to the store to get that one thing you need to bake something, moving your body are some of the things that I took for granted before living on a boat. It wasn’t until I was isolated, bobbing around in the middle of the ocean, that I realised how big the small things in life were. I am grateful for FaceTime and social media but it cannot replace the feeling of seeing people in person.
7. Ask for help. Whether this is for school, work, life in general, asking for help can be challenging. We are taught to be really independent and self-reliant. That is a good thing, until it goes too far. I find it really easy and enjoy helping others, so something I need to remind myself is that asking for help is sometimes giving both people a gift.
8. Minimalism. Little is often more. Living on a boat, there is only so much space where you can put things. In a world where you are getting bombarded with ads, it’s hard not to fall for consumerism. This is unless you are in the wop-wops and don’t have a postal address! I have never been a huge fan of going shopping unless I have a list of things I really need (eg. even after Fiji where some of my clothes were on the last thread)! However, realising that you don’t need many material things to be happy or fulfill your life, is actually a freedom. Experiencing experiences first hand, going out and doing that dream or surrounding yourself with good people, are things that I have found the most rewarding. Sailing to Fiji meant that we bulk-bought all of our provisions, as we didn’t know what we could or couldn’t get at the Fijian supermarkets. We found buying in bulk saved a lot of money; with the discount saving and with not going to the supermarket and buying all of the extra things we ‘really needed’. Minimalism and bulk buying is definitely something I will take into flatting later this year.
9. Seeking discomfort. Seeking the moment. Seeking life. A simple reminder to myself to get out there and do what you want to do. Anything is possible, if there is a will there's a way. So, dream big Molly!
“This is your life. Do what makes you happy. Change the things you can and let go of the things you can’t. If there is something you want, go get it. If you have a dream, follow it. Do not let fear hold you back. Trust your instincts and believe in yourself, you are capable of more than you think. When people tell you that you can’t, show them that you can. There will be times that you fall, but you will stand again. Protect your heart, but recognise when to let it go. Reminisce in the good times, but always look ahead. Learn from your mistakes, but do not dwell on them. Be confident in who you are, keep your head held high, and remember that you are beautiful. Don't be afraid to express how you feel. Cry hard, laugh harder, and when you love - love with everything you've got. Never settle. Find your passion. You can be whoever you want to be. There are no set rules, there is only now. This is yours now. This is your time. This is your life. And you only have one. Make it count.”